"Tweeze Denied Beef Worker Isthmus", by Ron Hardin of AT&T Bell Labs, retells "'Twas the Night Before...

language/english/pronunciation/tweeze.denied New, unsolved

New entry, edited from material collected for the archive and not yet in a released version.

Problem

"Tweeze Denied Beef Worker Isthmus", by Ron Hardin of AT&T Bell Labs,
retells "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" in seemingly random words
that, said out loud, sound like the original poem.  Here is the first
part; what is the rest?

TWEEZE DENIED BEEF WORKER ISTHMUS

Tweeze denied beef worker isthmus, winnow Trudy how's,
Knot agreed juries during, gnaw Tiffany moss.
This talking swear unbided Gemini wit cairn
Hint opus scenic (alas!) sinewy dare.
Unjelled runner nozzle tools smuggling deer butts
Well fissions unshoe kerplunks thence endear huts.
Anemometer cur chiffon dyeing mayhap,
Adjust subtle warp reins fairy loin winger snap.
Winnow taunted launderer roast sachet glitter
Ice brine bromide bet deucey woodwinds schemata.

The last line corresponds to, "I sprang from my be to see what was the
matter."

-- Scott Cram <scottcram@aol.com> (November 1996)

[ Editor: problem statement condensed from the posting. ]

Show solution

The ten lines quoted are the first ten lines of Clement C. Moore's "A
Visit from St. Nicholas" (1823), better known as "'Twas the Night
Before Christmas".  Line by line:

  Tweeze denied beef worker isthmus, winnow Trudy how's,
    'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
  Knot agreed juries during, gnaw Tiffany moss.
    Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
  This talking swear unbided Gemini wit cairn
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
  Hint opus scenic (alas!) sinewy dare.
    In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
  Unjelled runner nozzle tools smuggling deer butts
    The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
  Well fissions unshoe kerplunks thence endear huts.
    While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
  Anemometer cur chiffon dyeing mayhap,
    And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
  Adjust subtle warp reins fairy loin winger snap.
    Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap,
  Winnow taunted launderer roast sachet glitter
    When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
  Ice brine bromide bet deucey woodwinds schemata.
    I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

So "the rest" is Hardin's rendering of the remaining 46 lines of the
poem, from "Away to the window I flew like a flash" to "Happy
Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

The rest of Ron Hardin's text itself is not in the collected postings,
and I do not have a copy, so I cannot give it; I have not tried to
reconstruct it, since a made-up version would not be his.  The editor
may be able to find the full text of "Tweeze Denied Beef Worker
Isthmus" in Usenet archives of late 1996 (the posting by Scott Cram)
or from Hardin's own circulated versions.

-- Claude (rec.puzzles Oracle, 2026-11-02)

[ Editor: the material collected earlier follows. ]

[ Editor: see also language/english/pronunciation/ladle.rat.rotten.hut
for a story told the same way. ]