What are some self-referential jokes?
trivia/jokes.self-referential Added material
Problem
What are some self-referential jokes?
Show solution
Q: What is alive, green, lives all over the world, and has seventeen legs? A: Grass. I lied about the legs. The two rules for success are: 1. Never tell them everything you know. There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can count, and those who cannot. There are two types of people in the world: 1. People who think there are two types of people in the world. 2. Those who don't. There are 10 types of people inthe world: 1. Those who read binary code. 2. Those who don't. Q: Why did Douglas Hofstadter cross the road? A: To make this riddle possible. Song from the Sheri Lewis Lambchop hour: This is the song that doesn't end Yes it goes on and on my friend Some people starting singing it not knowing what it was Now they'll continue singing it forever just because (repeat) How long is the answer to this question? Ten letters. (There are endless variations on this theme) What is the only word in the English language that is an anagram of itself? Answer: STIFLE (also FISTLE, FLITES, FILETS) Banner at a Reader's Digest event on a Simpson's episode: Brevity is ... wit.
Additional material
Q: Is your answer to this question going to be no???
-- Neil Agarwal <neagarwa@mailbox.syr.edu>
A: Hardly.
-- Mark Meyer <mmeyer@dseg.ti.com>
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
-- Mark Meyer (signature line)
Paul Sloane <psloane@mathsoft.co.uk> wrote:
> Patient to doctor - 'Compared to other people's inferiority
> complexes, mine is very small.'
"I used to be conceited, but now I'm perfect."
-- keith lim <keithlim@pobox.com>
I have two friends who once in a while get in this fight:
A: You're so competitive.
B: No way! I'm less competitive than you are.
A: Oh yeah? I'm much less competitive than you.
B: I'm so far less competitive than you that . . .
. . . ad nauseum
-- Mike Soss <soss@cs.mcgill.caNada>
[ Editor: from an August 1998 thread "GEB-ish / self-ref jokes"
(crossposted to rec.humor, alt.fan.hofstadter and rec.puzzles), started
by Tomoyuki Tanaka asking "do you know of any good GEB-ish / self-ref
jokes?" GEB is Hofstadter's Goedel, Escher, Bach. ]
"Imagine a world without hypothetical situations"
-- Martin DeMello <mdemello@rice.edu>
Never make absolute, unconditional statements, because they'll get you
in trouble every time.
-- Mike Naylor
That god-damned word "ubiquitous" keeps on popping up everywhere.
-- jeanluc <jeanlucp@my-dejanews.com>
What means GEB?
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
-- Peter Hassett <PeterHassett@webtv.net>
two related ones -
- "everyone talks about apathy, but no one *does* anything about it"
- "which do you think is a greater problem, ignorance or apathy?"
"i don't know, and i don't care"
-- Martin DeMello <mdemello@rice.edu>
This is related to:
"And even nostalgia's not what it used to be"
and
"Our top news story - Procrastination. Coming up after the break"
-- Mike Geller <mgeller@avnet.co.uk>
A preposition is a bad word to end a sentence with.
One must attempt to never split an infinitive.
-- LakeWin98 <lakewin98@aol.com>
Generalizations are bad.
-- Aaron Bergman <abergman@premier1.net>
I wish I had a dime for every time I've said that I wish I had a dime.
-- RM Mentock <mentock@mindspring.com>
I thought about starting a club for pessimists, but I figured no one
would join.
-- Charles Gerlach <cagerlac@merle.acns.nwu.edu>
And make sure that you haven't any words out.
-- Mike Naylor
I'm not much good at self-deprecation.
-- Mike Geller <mgeller@avnet.co.uk>
Don't use no double negatives.
Make each pronoun agree with their antecedents.
-- Mike Williams <mike@econym.demon.co.uk>
(signature: "Correct speling is essential.")
I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure...
-- Greg Foltz <greg_f@fc.hp.com>
They say that no one will admit to starting a rumour...
-- Ben Allen <heilway@eskimo.com>
ez074520@dilbert.ucdavis.edu (Tomoyuki Tanaka) writes:
> does anyone know of more elaborate GEB-ish / self-ref jokes
> than these one-liners?
I once wrote a post on USENET that was rather elaborate and might have
been self-referential. It essentially discussed that for a
self-referential post to be humorous, it was often better if it could
contain an inherent contradiction that could not be logically
explained. Furthermore, I ended the post with a sentence that seemingly
made the post itself seem self-referential and contradictory, which
would of course reverse the claim and therefore make the post quite
confusing to resolve logically. I even got some praise for the posting,
as postings like that are quite uncommon. Unfortunately, I cannot find
the original text of the post, so you will just have to deal with this
post, which is obviously not self-referential and does not contain any
inherent contradictions.
-- Wei-Hwa Huang <whuang@ugcs.caltech.edu>
>> do you know of any good GEB-ish / self-ref jokes?
Yes, but I'd rather tell you bad self-ref jokes like this one.
-- Wei-Hwa Huang <whuang@ugcs.caltech.edu>
In article <35CEBCA2.5373@nortel.ca>, Ben Holness <bholness@nortel.ca>
writes:
>Tomoyuki Tanaka wrote:
>> does anyone know of more elaborate GEB-ish / self-ref jokes
>> than these one-liners?
>
>Have you ever read Sophies World, by Jostein Gaardner? Best self-ref
>type book (in it's own funny way) I have ever read - it will really
>freak you out towards the end.
In what I think is chronological order, I suggest:
Luigi Pirandello SIX CHARACTERS IN SEARCH OF AN AUTHOR
The play can't happen until the characters get marching orders, right?
Samuel Beckett WATT
The third person narrator's mentally ill style and concerns is slowly
revealed to actually be first person mental illness. You know how
focussing on a word's form too much can drain it of meaning? Well, Watt
believes that focussing on a word's form can provide meaning, but it
doesn't work. That final warning: "no symbols where none intended".
Clarifies exactly what it says it clarifies.
Samuel Beckett MALONE DIES
Purports to be the manuscript of old man Malone in a nursing home, with
just a few weeks left to live, having nothing better to do but gibber
about himself and to fill his time with the erratic writing of a story.
His major ambition is to have his fictional character's death coincide
with his own.
Georges Perec A VOID (Gilbert Adair translation)
World's greatest lipogram, starring Anton Vowl. Plot concerns what is
missing. (Then somebody actually *translated* it???? Unbelievable.)
Believe it or not, some reviewers missed the point!
Richard Powers GALATEA 2.2
Powers' fifth novel, the story of first person protagonist "Richard
Powers" stuck trying to write his fifth novel, gets hooked on teaching
literature to neural net AIs. Dotted with self-referential bits, like
when a character overly berates Powers for including Dutch allusions in
his four previous novels, Powers promises *not* to mention Holland in
his next novel.
Jeff Noon AUTOMATED ALICE
A modern day ALICE IN WONDERLAND sequel. Not as good as Gilbert Adair's
ALICE THROUGH THE NEEDLE'S EYE, but it certainly has its
moments--including some self referential moments.
-- Matthew P Wiener <weemba@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu>
I would like to start a club for busy people, but I just don't have the
time.
-- Craig J. Clark <cjclark@earthlink.net>, August 1998